… and let go of F.E.A.R. (here’s how I do it).
Last time I wrote about the irrational fears that control us.
I’ve also recently mentioned that almost everything required to get more clients will take you outside your comfort zone. It can be a scary place.
In his book, The Power of Intention, Dr. Wayne Dyer, the psychologist, uses F.E.A.R. as an acronym – False Evidence Appearing Real — to help us regain perspective.
“And then they all died.” That’s my husband’s humorous way of reminding me I’m spinning into fear. It helps snap me out of it and back into actions I can take to get the result I want.
This isn’t frivolous. It’s a tool to manage a situation you’ll find yourself in often. You’ll be facing down doubt and fear often as you grow.
Two recommendations for you:
- Come up with a phrase you can use to snap out of the fear spiral. It could be humorous like mine or comforting like Wayne Dyer’s. Write it down in a few places, especially near your computer or desk.I even have cheerful notes on my iPhone alarm, so first thing in the morning I see something like “It’s a beautiful day!” or “Life is good.”
- When you feel stressed, take a deep breath. My coach tells me that breathing changes our energy state, and I certainly feel that when I take a deep breath. If you’re with someone and get triggered, you can easily say, “Well … let me think about that a moment.” Then take a DEEP breath.Many times the other person will take a breath with you, transforming the tense energy between you. Then you can pause and think. And then you can respond. How often do we do the opposite (respond, then think)?
Did you take a deep breath while reading this email? How about taking one (or another one) right now? :)
I’ve shared this insight with my mentoring clients over the years:
Running your online business is not so much about business management, client management or money management.
It’s about self-management.
Clearing a path from fear and confusion to motivation and clarity is the only way to succeed. It may seem trite or silly to do this in the ways I’ve described, but it’s worked for me. It’s worked for my clients, and – if you’ll follow along with me on your journey – it will work for you.
So, what’s your “snap out of fear” phrase going to be? Can you commit to taking a deep breath when you’re stressed?
My colleague & Director of Marketing, Andy, told me that his phrase comes on the exhale of a deep breath — “I am deeply relaxed, a very healthy state of being.” It’s from the free Silva Method Meditation app.
Incidentally – guidance from an expert also helps instill confidence.
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